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Happy New Year – a little late, but feeling so blessed

36 days. It’s a record. In 2024, I had 24 infections (that’s an average of two per month) over the course of the year. I was hospitalized for infections and other complications four times in that year, ending on Christmas Day. That was such a miracle, I am still saying prayers of thanks for the mighty miracles that many hands were part of to make happen. It truly was a Christmas my family shall always remember. Scriptures say something like “after the trials cometh the blessings,” and I feel that deeply right now. While life is still incredibly challenging, I feel immensely blessed. For the past 36 days of 2025, I have not had any infections. I have not needed additional antibiotics (nor their side effects), and I’ve been able to go and do most of what I need to get done. I am not running races, but I have started physical therapy and am working to regain strength. Meanwhile, I continue to work with doctors to figure out the best course of action regarding all my other challenges. At this point, if this became my new “normal,” I will gladly accept it.

I was able to go to the temple three times already this year – something that seemed elusive to me last year: nearly every time I scheduled an appointment, an infection would flare and I’d be down for a few days. I would reschedule the appointment, and so it went. This year I hope to be healthy to go to the temple more often. I especially look forward to taking my daughter who now has her own limited use recommend. She has loved going already.

Date night at the Mesa Arizona Temple January 2025
First time doing baptisms with our daughter

I must say this feels like a meandering post because I have had so many random thoughts and experiences over the past few weeks of this new year. So, if you are already bored, abandon reading now. 🙂

I truly want to post to this blog more often, especially because my girls enjoy reading it. They even helped me reconfigure a few things to make it easier to locate the posts. My 6th grader has learned a lot about technology and coding and blogging this year. She’s now obsessed with mine it seems (well, if you like the ramblings of an old woman according to her). But, my blog went through quite the issues once I got home from the hospital at Christmas. On the back end, I had to fix the domain and redo the site because of some connectivity problems. I am not a back end tech expert – I am barely a user – but with the help of a couple experts, I got it fixed.

I have been LOVING studying Church History and the Doctrine and Covenants. My favorite podcasts are still my favorite. Check them out if you haven’t already. Note: I do not get any royalties, privileges or anything from these recommendations. I just adore them and have loved how they have impacted my own study and my own life.

  • Follow Him with Hank Smith and John Bytheway – I have to say, I always listen to this podcast first in the onslaught of podcasts each week. It covers much of what is in the Come, Follow Me manual; plus, they have the most variety of wonderful, inspired, expert guests. I learn about other podcasts, articles, and study materials from this podcast. I was worried that because they had done the four years (one of each book of scripture) from 2020-2024, they might discontinue the podcast. But the best news is it continues. In my opinion, it is better than ever. Each week’s episodes bring new light or new ways of thinking about the scriptures we’ve read over and over. I love it. They also started a new thing this year to go with the new “Voices of the Restoration” sections of Come, Follow Me. They have had Dr. Gerrit Dirkmaat from The Standard of Truth on as a guest a couple times for that, and I have thoroughly enjoyed each one. My family and I ran into Hank Smith last summer between the Smith home and the Sacred Grove in Palmyra, New York (see the picture below). Hank has an unmistakable face and even my children were delighted to meet him, since they are often around when I am listening to the podcast. Sometimes we also watch the YouTube channel as part of our family studies and discussion. Not everyone loves random people coming up to them and talking with them, but Hank was so personable (in fact, perhaps I am too casual calling him Hank here, but over 4+ years of listening, I feel like we are friends). I asked him then whether the podcast would continue in 2025 and he excitedly said yes. It made that trip even more memorable. I will make another note: not all people like listening to people talk. The transcripts and show notes for this podcast are amazing. I have downloaded them and used them for personal study, gospel doctrine lessons, family study, and even journaling. The podcast is now in a few languages (French, Spanish, Portuguese, English), so it is more widely available than ever before.
  • The Standard of Truth with Gerrit Dirkmaat and Dr. Richard LeDuc (so excited that Richard just officially got his PhD!) This is quite the duo of witty – sometimes outright silly – gospel discussion of historical events, particularly Joseph Smith and the coming forth of the Restoration of the Church. On their website it says, “A podcast hosted by historian Dr. Gerrit Dirkmaat, where we explore the early days of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the life and teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith. They examine the original historical sources and provide context for events of the past. They approach the history of the church with faith, expertise, and humor.” This is exactly what you get. They do offer a paid version, which I splurged on because I cannot get enough of this duo and the information is excellent. My children groan when it is Monday (release of the premium podcast) or Thursday (release of the free podcast) because my husband listens to it on his way to drop them off at school. They secretly love it, though. When we went back east last year to see some of the American History sites, we listened to “Condemned to Repeat It” on the premium episodes before our trip. When we saw some of the places, they were glad they knew about it. We have a lot more places to visit, though. One of these days my husband and I will join a tour in the summer. Timing just has not been good for us, but we would not miss such an opportunity if we could go. If you are struggling with questions about early church history or whether Joseph Smith truly was a prophet of God, this podcast will give you sources and accurate insight along with smiles for days. It is my favorite for a reason.
  • The Scriptures are Real with Kerry Muhlestein is another go-to must listen each week for Come, Follow Me. I rarely watch the YouTube video, but prefer the podcast audio. If you’re into videos, YouTube is the place to go. I love the guests and the insights, similar to Follow Him, but often they don’t get to everything in the Come, Follow Me reading for the week. Instead, this podcast dives deep into a couple of key points or tips on how to make the scriptures real in our lives today. I highly recommend this podcast if you’re looking for a deep dive.
  • Church History Matters with Scott Woodward and Casey Griffiths is a gem. I started listening to this podcast when it first came out. They tackle some of the more controversial matters of church history, including Joseph Smith, The Book of Mormon, polygamy, blacks and the priesthood, and other challenging topics. I have thoroughly enjoyed each episode as well as the references to each of the documents they discuss. They even had one series on how to find good sources and avoid bad ones. This year in 2025 they are following the Come, Follow Me curriculum week by week, section by section of the doctrine and covenants. This podcast is also available on the Scripture Central podcast and the Scripture Central site for this year that we are studying church history and the Doctrine and Covenants. I cannot recommend this podcast enough. I have relistened to both series on the First Vision, Joseph Smith, and the Book of Mormon translation again this year to enhance my personal study. If you haven’t tried this one, start now.

Okay, I do listen to other Church-related podcasts such as the Church News podcast, Unburdened, and All In, but I am not as regularly faithful in listening to those as the ones listed above. I have others as well, but we’ll stick to these for now.

I also started using the Scripture Plus app far more this year than ever before. Wow! What a difference in my study. I have recommended it to family and friends and they are all loving it, too. The team at Scripture Central really works hard to put the videos, podcasts, and this app together to make studying easy, routine, and more meaningful than ever. There are wonderful study apps out there (including the best one called Gospel Library created and maintained by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and all of them are fantastic. Scripture Plus is the only one I am using right now other than Gospel Library.

I am working to study both The Book of Mormon and The Doctrine and Covenants this year. While I am deeply studying The Doctrine and Covenants, I read just a small part of The Book of Mormon each day using the Scripture Plus app, and enjoy the commentary and quotes from Church leaders they include in the daily reading plans. A few weeks ago, I was reading in 1 Nephi chapter 3, a quote from then Elder Henry B. Eyring was included. It touched me particularly.

“When you’re experiencing a severe trial, ask yourself this question: ‘Am I trying to do what the Lord would have me do?’ If you’re not, then adjust your course. But if you are, remember the boy outside the walls of Jerusalem who turned to his brothers and said, ‘I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.’

“I bear you my testimony that the Lord will always prepare a way for you to escape from the trials you will be given if you understand two things. One is that you need to be on the Lord’s errand. The second thing you need to understand is that the escape will almost never be out of the trial; it will usually be through it. If you pray to have the experience removed altogether, you may not find the way prepared for you. Instead, you need to pray to find the way of deliverance through it.

Eyring, Henry B. To Draw Closer to God: A Collection of Discourses. Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book, 1997. 84-86.

I have read this quote many times – sometimes a few times in one day – over the past few weeks. It struck a cord with me. We all have trials, big and small. Sometimes the small trials on top of big trials can really bring us down. Sometimes worrying over others and their trials can be even more difficult because we feel helpless. But I love the promise that the Lord will prepare a way for escape from the trials we are given if we are (1) doing our best to do the Lord’s will and (2) working faithfully through the trial to the best of our ability. It makes sense that we can’t simply have our trials taken away. Life is meant to challenge, test, and refine us. That doesn’t happen without difficulties and character-building opportunities. Call it trials, sorrows, hardships, or whatever you like, each one is tailored specificially to us to help each of us to learn what we need to become more like our Heavenly Parents.

I have decided this quote from Henry B. Eyring shall be my personal theme for this year. I have set goals to be infection free and to stay out of the hospital (both of which aren’t really in my control), and I am hopeful that will be the case. However, whether that continues to be a trial or other hardships arise, I choose to have faith and continue moving forward, praying for deliverance through the trials rather than to not have them. This in and of itself will be a challenge, but I am ready to take on that task. I know I shall be better for it. May the Lord bless you with the way He has prepared for you to escape your own trials, even if you must endure them for some time yet.

Happy New Year!

Meeting Hank Smith just outside the Sacred Grove.

Can you be happy when it seems the world is falling apart and life is hard?

The theme for a recent Come, Follow Me lesson comes from 2 Nephi 5:27 “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.” The leading paragraphs in the manual says that Nephi and his people “also learned that happiness does not come easily or without periods of sorrow. It ultimately comes from trusting the Lord.”

No doubt countless people — I would say all humans, everywhere — have (or will) experienced great tragedy, loss, sorrow, sadness, grief, pain, and all sorts of trials and afflictions. In fact, if each person were to write a story about their mortal experience on earth, many of the “things” that would be cataloged there would include painful, trying experiences. Each story might look different, but each would seem on the surface to have many negative, unhappy events — obviously some more than others, but trials are a central part of every human life. Even just the act of being born is one of effort and trial not only for the mother giving birth but for the child entering the world. If we look at life through this lens, it is easy to see how dark and dreary the world is. Then when we add all the sorrow and tragedy and loss of each person together as a whole human race, it is overwhelming and seems hopeless. Life. Is. Hard.

In The Book of Mormon we read multiple accounts of hardships and trials of the people who lived during that time. At a particular trying period of my life about 5 years ago, I had a lot of time on my hands doing dialysis and practically living at the hospital. As I read through the Book of Mormon, I highlighted any time I came across words such as affliction, trial, hardship, longsuffering, suffering, pain, sorrow, tribulation, misery, or any other word with similar context. What I found was interesting and lifted my spirits: nearly every time any of these words were used, the passage included or followed with words of faith or testimony of the Savior, Jesus Christ. For example, in the very first verse of 1 Nephi 1, Nephi says, “and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God.” Nephi is essentially saying; my life has been very hard, but I have been very blessed because of the Lord.

To be honest, I started this post about a month ago, but life has brought me challenges of my own. I have not felt well most of the days, yet life moves forward and I had to keep going. The one thing I could “drop” was blogging. I missed it. I couldn’t believe how much I appreciate getting my thoughts out, knowing few people will ever read them. I’ve said before that this blog is rather selfish in that way because I can write what I think and feel in hopes of sharing my experiences and testimony with my family. But in the last month in addition to continuing health challenges, I had a daughter getting ready for baptism. She turned eight at the end of February and with that came parties and celebrations and baptism preparations. It was physically taxing and spiritually exhausting, but also so rewarding. What a joyful month it has been and I have felt an abundance of the Spirit of the Lord.

Speaking of challenges and living after the manner of happiness, let me share a quick story. Preface: Both of my daughters decided on their own that they wanted to read the entire Book of Mormon before turning eight and getting baptized. My elder daughter, Evanie, was so sweet, saying, “I think it is important to know whether the Book of Mormon is true and the Church is true before I get baptized, don’t you, Mom?” So, as a family, we read and finished The Book of Mormon three years ago when Evanie was baptized. We started last year to read it with Dottie, my recently-turned-eight-year-old. We were just finishing Helaman around Christmastime. My family decided to start over with Come, Follow Me this year, but Dottie insisted she wanted to finish it before her birthday and that I could do it with her. In addition to my own personal study and our family study, I began a “buddy study” with Dottie. It usually turned into a bedtime story type thing where we would read one verse each or I would read to her, one or two chapters a day. It was extra work for me, but I also look back with joy on the experience.

Okay, now for the story: I don’t know what it is (but it happened with my older daughter as well), but it seems that right before kids turn eight and decide to get baptized, they test limits and boundaries more than usual. I could ask my daughter to clean her room and I’m met with weeping and whaling more so than usual. Or when she needs to brush her teeth or even her hair, moaning and murmuring ensues. There was one particular day when my husband was at work and I was home with the kids getting chores done, etc. My soon-to-be eight-year-old, Dottie, was not having it. She fought with her sister, she argued with me, no matter what I said or did, she was not changing her attitude. I felt overwhelmed and frustrated. I remember going to my room and praying to the Lord, asking Him for help. I said something to the effect of, “She is your child and I do love her, but I cannot do this. I need help.” I recall clearly the immediate answer of overwhelming love and comfort and the words that came to my mind: “I do love Dottie. And I love you. You are both mine. Go and ask Dottie if she wants to read The Book of Mormon with you.” Okay, not going to lie, I thought, yeah, right. That is the last thing she is going to want to do right now. She’s been so ornery. But I was desperate, and I knew I had felt the Spirit, so I went and asked her, “Dottie, do you want to stop what we’re doing and read The Book of Mormon together now?” She turned and looked at me, a complete change in her countenance. She was smiling and her eyes were excited. She said, “Mom! That is exactly what we need to do!” I felt the love of the Lord in that moment. I knew that Jesus Christ knew me and my sweet Dottie. He knew the frustration I felt. He felt it with me. But He also knew Dottie’s heart and her own frustrations. He allowed me to know that what we both needed was the amazing Spirit that comes from reading The Book of Mormon. The entire day changed. Both Dottie and I changed. We got all our chores and other tasks done before my husband got home, and I was blessed with the physical strength to do it.

I think of all the challenges and trials in the world (and even in my own life at the time with the health challenges I’ve had), and this incident with Dottie was not a great challenge on the surface. It wasn’t building a ship or having brothers trying to kill me or my father like Nephi. Still, in that moment on that day it was a very real and troublesome problem I faced. And Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ still gave me the answer and strength I needed to fulfill my role as a mom. FYI, she did finish The Book of Mormon and she did get baptized. The Spirit was so strong at her baptism — I’ve not felt it that powerful at another baptism before, which was just another witness to me of how much Heavenly Father loves her and how much she loves Him.

I could write endlessly about more trials, great and small, and I’m sure that each of you could share your own experiences for days. The message is still the same: Jesus is mindful of us. He is aware of all that matters to us. And even the small things matter to Him because it matters to us. He knows personally what it feels like to go through all things, great and small. It is because of this truth that I find hope in the hymn “Come, Ye Disconsolate” — the words are so promising. I have heard the lyrics quoted recently in General Conference and in other places. I am looking forward to hearing the new Gentri arrangement of the hymn on their new album. Rob Gardner’s arrangement is one of my favorites. But, it is also in the Hymnbook. Wherever you find it, I hope it brings you peace like it does for me.

Here are the lyrics:

Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish;

Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.

Here bring your wounded hearts; here tell your anguish.

Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot heal.

Joy of the desolate, Light of the straying,

Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure!

Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying,

“Earth has no sorrow that heav’n cannot cure.”

Here see the Bread of Life; see waters flowing

Forth from the throne of God, pure from above.

Come to the feast of love; come, ever knowing

Earth has no sorrow but heav’n can remove.

I love these lyrics and the hope they provide. My favorite line is the last in each stanza, slightly varied by verse. Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal, cure, or remove. It reminds me that all trials and tribulations and afflictions of this life are temporary. If we trust in Jesus Christ and stay true to our covenants with Him, our suffering will have an end. I know it can be discomforting at times to know we must endure the trials of this life often until the end of our mortality, which gives little relief on the surface in the midst of trial. However, I also know that keeping an eternal perspective and recognizing these trials can bring us closer to the Lord and help us to become like Him can bring us peace and joy and happiness in ways we never could have experienced otherwise.

I choose to continue to look for the ways the Lord has blessed me in my afflictions, even on days it seems too difficult to bear. Alone it would be too difficult, but I am not alone. We are not alone. Jesus Christ is our Companion. Through keeping covenants, we can feel His Spirit ALWAYS. Always. It is my prayer that we do even on our darkest days and can say with Nephi that “we live after the manner of happiness.”

Dad, Are You Awake?

There is so much content for Come, Follow Me this week. For only covering two chapters in The Book of Mormon (2 Nephi 1-2), there are so many rich doctrinal truths and principles we can learn. Lehi must have been quite the prophet and speaker. Someday when we have the original Book of Lehi again, it will be interesting to read his writing style and all the words he had to share. I am so thankful for the words we have from him through the record of his son Nephi. I enjoyed reading the scriptures as well as the manual’s insights in Come, Follow Me. All the podcasts were wonderful too. I especially enjoyed Follow Him with Hank Smith and John Bytheway. Their guest Dr. Lili De Hoyos Anderson is one of my favorites. She had so many insights and the Spirit was so strong listening to her share her own experiences. I actually cried listening to it, touched by what she was saying.

My parents and my siblings and our families meet once a month to have dinner and enjoy a discussion about Come, Follow Me. This month was my parents’ turn to teach the lesson and lead the discussion. I personally loved this as we discussed Lehi talking to his posterity and we had the opportunity to hear from my dad and mom to their kids and grandkids. It is something I love and look forward to each month. The responses and participation of the little children is fun to watch; we see their testimonies growing over time as we meet each month.

In 2 Nephi 13-29 it starts with “awake; awake from a deep sleep.” Lehi pleads with his posterity to be vigilant and well aware of what is going on around them. He warns them not to allow the adversary to slowly take control of their minds and their lives. Satan has no intention of allowing us to be free or to choose the Lord. He is working tirelessly to thwart our efforts to keep our covenants and follow Christ. If Satan doesn’t rest, then neither can we. Obviously, this doesn’t mean we can’t physically sleep — this is an analogy, a symbol, an illustration. But the message is clear: we cannot ever get complacent in living the gospel or keeping our covenants because the moment we do, we’ve already allowed Satan and his wily ways to creep into our lives. Yes, repentance is key and available to us daily; but vigilance is necessary.

The conference talk that came to mind (and I believe was mentioned in more than one podcast this week) is “Dad, Are You Awake” by Elder F. Melvin Hammond. This talk was given in the Sunday afternoon general session of General Conference in October 2002. I remember this talk for a unique reason based on an experience I had had with my dad only a few months earlier that year:

The Snowflake, Arizona temple open house was something I really wanted to attend. For my entire life, we’d only ever had one Arizona temple and that was in Mesa. It was exciting that we’d have another one. I was not in school at the time, just working, so I had made arrangements with my dad to drive up on a weekday and come back the same day. We had to leave rather early to make it work. My dad had church meetings that evening, so we were on a tight schedule. What I didn’t know was that my dad had not slept well the night before. He had his Diet Coke and some sunflower seeds to keep him going while we drove. I offered a few times to drive, but my dad was confident in his driving, and I didn’t mind being the passenger. I remember I slept some along the drive. As we were only 30 minutes or so from Snowflake, I asked my dad if he wanted me to read to him. We had been reading Harry Potter – not together, per se, but we happened to be on the same book. I started reading The Goblet of Fire as we drove. I hadn’t gotten but a couple of pages in when I noticed we were veering to the right a bit. I looked at my dad and he seemed fine. I saw a big truck coming in the opposite direction on the two-lane road and figured he was giving them space. But to my horror, all of a sudden, we passed over the shoulder line and started going 65 (or more) miles per hour over this rocky land on the side of the highway. The SUV bumped and jerked and rocked up and down, side to side, front and back. I knew we were going to tip over and die. I prayed out loud, “Please, don’t let us tip over, don’t let us tip over. Help us stop!” My prayers were answered. We never tipped over and eventually the vehicle stopped – three wheels jammed into big boulders and the fourth tire not much better.

We were in the middle of nowhere, our vehicle stuck, and barely catching our breath. I remember looking over at my dad. His face was one of shock and relief. I asked him what had happened. He said, “Well, I think I drifted asleep for a second.” I don’t recall what was said after that exactly, but I know my personality and I’m sure I gave him a hard time for it. I had offered to drive, after all. That truck that had passed by us came back to see if we were all right. They saw the whole accident happen. We left the SUV and got a ride with them into town. My dad had an aunt and uncle who lived in Snowflake at the time, so we went to their house. We borrowed a vehicle and went to the temple open house.

I have to say, I already loved the temple, but my sure testimony of the temple came from this visit. It wasn’t even dedicated yet, but as we entered those doors (bodies sore from whiplash and seatbelt burn, spirits stirred with worry and concern over the vehicle and what would come next), I could only feel the peace of Jesus Christ. I did not think once about the accident. I was able to feel a sure love of God and I knew that I was in His house. My dad knew several of the people helping with the tour, including his brother and his wife. We got a special side tour that no one else did as a friend took us to see all the rooms. We saw the bridal preparation room. As I looked at the picture of Esther, I remember thinking that the Lord knew me just as well as He knew Esther. He wanted to help me with my life and my decisions just as He did Esther in days of old. I didn’t want to leave the temple because it was such a wonderful experience, but eventually we did. As soon as we left, all the worry, pain and frustration from the accident returned to me.

My dad didn’t make it to his church meetings that night, but we did manage to get the vehicle fixed well enough to drive home (truly a miracle in and of itself, but the fact we had very minimal injuries was also miraculous). I have always been close with my dad — definitely a daddy’s girl — but I feel we bonded in a new way that day. Not only that, I am now a nervous passenger who has no shame in telling whomever is driving that they are veering or going to fast or whatever I think is off. So speak up passengers!

When I heard Elder Hammond’s conference talk and he said, “Dad, are you awake?” I busted up laughing. I was watching at my parents’ house and looked at my dad. He also laughed. It was a long-standing joke. But just like my mom always says, “There’s a gospel principle in that.” There is responsibility for parents, both dads and moms, to be awake spiritually to help their children see the pitfalls and challenges of life, to avoid catastrophe. But there is a responsibility of children to ask their parents whether they are awake — paying attention to what is going on in life and helping them to stay safely on the path. It is no coincidence that we are put here on earth in families. Each plays a role in helping each other to return back to Heaven. No parent is perfect. No child is perfect. But if we each are actively awake and walking the covenant path together, we can help each other become more Christlike.

Obviously, this phrase can be changed to say, “Mom (or Grandma/Grandpa/Aunt/Uncle/Bishop/Friend/Neighbor/Teacher), are you awake?” We each have a part we play as we walk the covenant path, holding to the Iron Rod to get to the Tree of Life and stay at the Tree. Even for those who literally or figuratively go off the road, we can help. We can provide help on the way back. We can guide them to the Tree, just as we had help to get to the temple that day. What are we doing today to stay awake and help others?

To know is to do … or can we do to know?

I joined John Hilton III’s Book of Mormon Masterclass. I have heard Brother Hilton on a couple of different podcasts in the past and followed him on social media, so when he posted about this masterclass I was excited to join. And it has been more value-add to my life than I thought it could be.

For a but of background, I love The Book of Mormon. I studied it quite a bit from a young age and can say I’ve read it at least once a year for as long as I can remember. I have realized over the years that no matter how much I read and study this amazing book, I will always find something new through the Holy Ghost. I love hearing what other people learn about The Book of Mormon as they study, ponder, and pray about it. In addition to this year’s Come, Follow Me study, I am also trying to learn from various podcasts, conference talks, and scholars about The Book of Mormon. John Hilton III has provided a very good venue for me to do just that. The content that he provides is educational and thought provoking. Be sure to check it out.

In class 3 of this masterclass, Brother Hilton compares 1 Ne 3:7 to 1 Ne 4:6. These are both very famous verses, often quoted in various talks or lessons. In chapter 3, Nephi says he knows that the Lord is commanding him and that the Lord will prepare a way so then he will go and do. In chapter 4, he says that he doesn’t know, but he moves forward and does the will of the Lord as the Spirit directs (gaining knowledge by doing). I cannot summarize this or articulate this concept as well or as clearly as Brother Hilton does. I honestly listened to this lesson 3 times. Plus, John Hilton III was the guest on the podcast Follow Him for the same week this class was posted (1 Nephi chapters 1-5), and he mentioned this concept on that podcast as well. I hope you heard it somewhere, because it is fantastic. Here is what I got out of it: sometimes we know things and it gives us the strength and courage and perhaps even faith to go and do it. Other times, we may not know something, but we feel prompted to act and do so in faith; in following that prompting and acting upon it, we learn and gain a knowledge. Brother Hilton uses Sariah as an example. She obviously followed Lehi into the wilderness at the start of the Book of Nephi, but it isn’t until partway through chapter 5 when her sons return with the brass plates and Zoram that she says, “Now I know …” This shows that she was willing to act in faith to follow the prophet (her husband Lehi) and trust that she would know later. When Lehi told his family to leave Jerusalem, it is clear that Sariah must have had some trust and faith, some basic knowledge, that her husband was a prophet and a man of God. But, her testimony that it was definitely God’s will for her family to be in the wilderness and seek the promised land didn’t come until later.

How many times in my life do I have questions or wonder if what I’m doing is right? (Hint: a lot.) I love this concept because so many times I think I should figure out and know the plan 100% before acting on it. That isn’t always the case. But also, sometimes I think, I’ll leave this up to the Lord and He will show me the way, but then He wants me to give more effort and try to make a plan. It goes both way and only sincere prayer and pondering through the Spirit will indicate which is needed at the time.

As a parent I also see this in action. I will remind my kids to do something and my tween’s response is usually, “I know, Mom.” To which I say, “To know is to do.” Eye rolls ensue, but then things get done. In “I am a Child of God” the lyrics were changed to “teach me all that I must do” rather than know because it is one thing to know something, but another to do it. We can know we should make covenants or keep covenants, but doing it is critical to our salvation and exaltation. We cannot simply know. We must do. But, as I learned recently, sometimes we must do in order to know not just know in order to do.

Repentance not just for sin – overcome the Natural, Fallen State

We know that repentance means change, but when I think of that change, I usually limit my definition of repentance to sin and overcoming sin. My eyes were opened to a new way of thinking about repentance last week when I listened to The Scriptures are Real podcast with Dr. Kerry Muhlestein and guest Phil Allred on Christ and Covenant to Get through Our Dark and Dreary Waste. Side note: I love The Scriptures are Real podcasts and the insights Dr. Muhlestein and his guests share about the scriptures. It is different from most other Come, Follow Me-related podcasts in that not only do they focus on relating it to our daily, modern lives but they also dig deep and discuss the scriptural academics and specified knowledge from research and other sources. Anyway, check it out.

I mention this episode specifically because they talk about other ways that repentance can apply to our lives rather than just fixing sin and not sinning again. They were talking about the dark and dreary waste and the covenant path and the role of the Fall and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. On the one hand, we are divine beings: spirit children of our Heavenly Parents. On the other hand, we live in a fallen world because of the Fall of Adam and Eve: we are in a natural state of mortal life being subjected to temptation, pain, affliction of every kind. They suggested three paths:

  1. The overly confident divine being who focuses solely on the fact they are a child of God. God loves all of His children, regardless of our actions, so by focusing on that and that alone, nothing we do matters. The “you do you” or “take me as I am” philosophies of the world fit well here because it ignores the Fall and the need for a Savior all together.
  2. The self-loathing being who sees themselves as a fallen son or daughter who cannot be redeemed because they are sinful, carnal, devilish and continually make mistakes. This philosophy allows no room for improvement or change because it focuses solely on the Fall and doesn’t acknowledge the Redeemer.
  3. The middle ground or the covenant maker and keeper who understands and recognizes their fallen state, but relies upon the mercies of the Savior, Jesus Christ to fully redeem them from the Fall and the monsters of Death and Sin that accompany it.

In path one, there is no need for a Savior simply because we are children of God and that is good enough. But it isn’t enough. We do need a Savior because we are human and make mistakes. But path two is also wrong because while we make mistakes and cannot in this life be perfect, Jesus Christ did suffer and die for us and made it possible for us to return to live with God, our Father. This is why path three is the best option because it allows for our mortality, our humanity, our mistakes and our learning. It allows for us to become something new and better through our covenants with the Lord.

When we repent of sin, of course our sins our cleansed and we can become a “new creature” like Paul describes in the New Testament. We can completely change from a sinful state to one of holiness and purity through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. But, more than that, when we have weaknesses (Ether 12:27) or things we struggle with as part of our mortal experience, we can change and turn those into strengths through Jesus Christ. Now, I am not saying I didn’t know we could turn to the Savior to make “weak things become strong,” no; what I am saying is that everything we are can be improved upon and changed through Jesus Christ. Even our strengths can become stronger and used for more holy purposes when we turn to Christ. For example, I am an introvert who has had to over the years get better at talking with people and enjoying “crowds” to some extent. I did this back when I worked in a corporate position as well as part of various Church callings. It took work and effort on my part, but I couldn’t do it alone. I needed the enabling power of the Atonement to help me with this. I still struggle with it sometimes, but I am so much better. I’ve improved and changed to the point that some people mistake me for an extrovert at first. Nope. I have just been working on this weakness to make it stronger. Repentance means change, more specifically changing to be more like Christ. So, you could say that it was a repentance process that helped me overcome by intense introvertness (okay, that’s not a word, but you get it). I am not suggesting that we start using the word repentance in exchange with change everywhere (and Brother Allred states this on the podcast that we can’t interchange them because of the strong definitions and connotations the words have), but this concept is a good one. What else do I need to change and overcome to grow closer to God, to keep my covenants better, to become like Jesus Christ? These questions will help me on the covenant path as I seek Him and strive to find joy each day in following Him.

New ideas about the Tree of Life I learned this week

This week in Come, Follow Me the reading includes 1 Nephi chapters 6-10. Like many, I have read and reread these chapters countless times in my life. They feel familiar and almost read like “old news” in my mind. Still, I love how the Come, Follow Me manual gives additional resources and insights into these chapters. I invite you to use these in your personal and family study if you haven’t already. I am seeing the difference it makes in my own family as we strive to study daily. This week it highlights a talk by Kevin W. Pearson from 2015 called “Stay by the Tree.” I read and listened to this talk both on my own and then with my family. I remember hearing this talk, but it struck me differently this week as I studied. Here are a few things I learned from the talk:

  1. How many times to I tell people or hear other people say the phrase “Hang in there”? I love how Elder Pearson says that “is not a principle of the gospel.” Enduring to the end isn’t something we “hang in there” to accomplish. It is much more purposeful than that. Elder Pearson defines enduing to the end as “constantly coming unto Christ and being perfected in Him.” Such a simple, but powerful statement. We endure through the mists of darkness, river of filthy water, and scoffs and scorns of the great and spacious building by focusing on Jesus Christ and our covenant relationship with Him. The thought that came to me as I pondered this was the sacrament. Each week we have the opportunity to go to church and partake of the sacrament. This is a literal and physical as well as spiritual “coming to Christ” to “be perfected in Him.” We set aside the things of the world. We offer up our own will and desires and give them to Christ, with a broken spirit and a contrite heart. This might look like changing our plans, changing our motivations, changing what we thought we wanted to align our lives with the will of the Lord. It could be that we struggled to get along with family members (not going to lie, reading about Nephi’s experience with his family brings hope to me when I get frustrated as a wife and a mother). Or perhaps there are habits we are striving to change. Repentance means change, so what better way to endure to the end than making continual course corrections daily, and a more solid course correction each Sunday at the sacrament table? We have been told by many leaders that the sacrament is the most important ordinance we have. Do I treat it that way? Do I take it for granted? Some Sundays are better for me than others in this regard, but after reflecting upon this statement by Elder Pearson, I am more dedicated to making my sacrament meeting experience more holy, more committed, allowing me to endure better.
  2. The six things that Elder Pearson cites in his talk to do to pursue his definition of enduring to the end are not new. Prayer, make covenants with Christ, faith, reading the Book of Mormon, avoid distractions and deceptions, and deepening conversion. Not only are the concepts not new, they are simple. Not easy, but simple. We need to do what we can to improve each of these six things daily and then enduring will be possible. Even joyful.
  3. This quote didn’t strike me in 2015 like it did this week: “As we yield our hearts to God, the Holy Ghost changes our very natures, we become deeply converted unto the Lord, and we no longer seek the spacious building. If we stop doing those things that bring about deepening conversion, we regress spiritually. Apostasy is the reverse of conversion.” This goes along with my insights of my first point, but I couldn’t help but love the way he worded this. If we are not focusing our efforts to deepen our conversion, to strengthen our efforts to keep our covenants and become more like Christ, then the opposite is happening: apostacy is happening. That stings! I have never thought of it that way. I’ve heard the phrase that if I’m not moving forward, I’m going backward–that we don’t stand still. But to say that if we aren’t moving toward deeper conversion, we are moving toward apostacy indeed stings. I don’t want that! I want more than anything to follow Jesus Christ and to become like Him. He has saved me from death and sin, and all He asks is that I keep His commandments. Yet, how many times to I let that “natural man” (Mosiah 3:19) creep in, forgetting or getting lazy in how I seek Him? How many times do I lose focus of my goal to become like Him? Unfortunately, a lot. Now, I’m not saying (and I don’t believe Elder Pearson was either) that apostacy is immediate. No, it’s a gradual thing. This is why it is critical to reset our focus each day in our prayer and scripture study, our temple attendance and church meetings, and in our thoughts and actions. We are human. We will make mistakes. But we need to fix our mistakes quickly before they become so habitual that we are not where we thought we were spiritually. To use the tree of life analogy, we may find ourselves farther from the tree and closer to the great and spacious building if we are not vigilantly careful. For me, this is a recommitment to again focus on those simple six things to endure to the end. And I need to recommit daily, or at the very least weekly when I take the sacrament.
  4. “Once we enter into covenants with God, there is no going back. Giving in, giving up, and giving out are not options.” I loved this! Elder Pearson shared his own story of having to explain to his business firm why he was leaving to preside of a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in a different state. He said his answer came with clarity that he had made a covenant when he was nineteen and he wasn’t going to go back on that. Covenants are eternally binding. Sometimes as mortals, we may forget this. But God doesn’t forget us. He will help us keep our covenants if we seek Him. Elder Pearson goes on to say, “In the kingdom of God, there is a standard of excellence for exaltation. It requires valiant discipleship! There is no room for average or complacent disciples. Average is the enemy of excellence, and average commitment will prevent you from enduring to the end.” Keeping covenants and staying by the tree is not an easy task. It takes effort. It takes focus. And, we can do it, especially because Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want more than anything for us to succeed and They are always helping us.

Okay, those are just a few of my thoughts. I’m sure you’ll find your own insights there. I just want to share one other thing from this week. I love listening to podcasts, especially ones about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Jesus Christ and His gospel. I have so many favorites, and I’m sure I’ll mention them here from time to time. Today, I want to share what I learned from Follow Him: A Come, Follow Me Podcast with Hank Smith & John Bytheway. This week’s guest was Dr.  Gaye Strathearn. At about the 35:39-minute mark of the podcast, they were talking about what sacrifice. This is what Hank Smith said:

I remember last year for our lesson on the Garden of Gethsemane, Dr. Dan Belnap taught us something that had great impact on me. He said, ‘In the ancient world, sacrifice wasn’t giving something up, it was making something holy. It was, “I’m going to make this thing holy.”‘ That really had impact on me as I think about the time that I give to callings and temple attendance and church attendance. Instead of giving that time up, I’m making that time holy. The money that I give, it’s not giving it up, it’s making it holy. That really had impact on me.

I love this because so many times we hear that sacrifice is giving up something. I’ve even heard a step above that saying that when we sacrifice something to the Lord, it really isn’t a sacrifice because when we sacrifice, we are blessed so it’s more like an investment. While I like that, it doesn’t fit nearly as well as the definition in Leviticus to make it holy. That reframes everything. If I sacrifice my time in the temple, I am making that holy time. If I sacrifice my time to taxi around my kids to their various activities, I am making that time holy. I am doing what I can as a parent to fulfill my mission to guide and raise up these choice spirit children of God to Him. Thinking of it that way makes it no longer a drudgery. If I spend time in the scriptures or saying prayers or sharing my testimony with others, that is made holy. I can dedicate that to the Lord. This reframe will help me every day. I just need to remember it!

Okay, that’s it for this week. Let me know what other thoughts and insights you have found.